Tough Mudder - Chicago

I had mixed feelings going into this race for a few reasons. Since I am training for IMLOU I didn't want to take a chance on hurting myself, so I knew I'd be taking it somewhat easy. Being my first Tough Mudder, I knew most of what to expect, but still wasn't quite positive which obstacles I would have trouble with, and which ones would be no-brainers. I certainly wasn't concerned about the distance at all (10.6 miles) due to my numerous half-marathons and current training regime, but being a wimp when it comes to weather, I wasn't too crazy about getting into Lake Geneva, WI on Friday night to see that a cold front had moved in and it would be an overcast, 64 degrees at the start. Now, "cold front" and 64 degrees may not sound like that big a deal to some, and to others (and even me, on a 'normal race' day) may seem like decent conditions for a 10-miler. But knowing that there would be lots of mud and water to trudge through on the course, I was concerned about getting too cold - especially since the only race gear I brought was shorts and a tank top - no Under Armor tights or long-sleeves for this chick. Nonetheless, my friend Daniel and I headed out to the parking area at about 10:30 a.m. in preparation for our 11:45 a.m. start, and although it was still a bit chilly at this point, we knew (hoped) it would warm up a bit by the time we went across the Start Line. As we lined up with approximately 300 other folks (300 go off every 15 minutes), a race official gave us all a nice little pep talk about safety, the goal of the race (to help out and be there for our fellow man (and woman) rather than go for time), and above all else to have fun. He had also mentioned that with the downpour of rain that the area got the day before, this course was the muddiest that they had ever experienced. Again, this being my first TM I knew that mud would be involved, but nothing could prepare me for what was to come after the countdown commenced. Off we went through stomped-down corn fields and thick, muddy conditions. Not enough to slip and slide in (that would come later), but certainly enough to throw your stride off and risk rolling an ankle if you weren’t careful. Therefore, Daniel and I took it easy and did a walk/run – not based on time, but by how treacherous the ground beneath our feet felt. Less than ½ mile in we came upon some thicker, deeper mud that would swallow your foot if you let it. We even stopped to help a gal who had lost her shoe to the Mud Gods, before we were on our way once more. Just past the ONE MILE marker we came upon our first obstacle: KISS OF MUD. Here we got down on all fours and crawled under barbed wire while simultaneously making our way over a few large humps of mud only to be met on the other side by a swampy mud puddle. Good times. No problems getting through this fella as I later said, “that was so much fun!” Another half-mile or so up ahead we came upon the BERLIN WALLS. This is probably a 12-15 foot wall that you had to scale up one side, then down the other with the help of your fellow Mudder’s. Due to all the mud and dampness however, I decided to forgo this obstacle after I initially attempted to reach the top. Again, I can’t stress enough how much I did not want to take the chance on hurting myself and screw up my IMLOU training. Shortly after this obstacle the real fun began. What was probably meant to be a shallow creek ended up being a waist to chest high flowing body of water that we had to muddle through for another half-mile. Coming out of the water, 25 yards of deep mud had most of us bottle-necked to get through to the other side. This stuff was like quicksand, and I was sinking up to my thighs with every step I took. I had to have 2-3 guys help pull me out more than a few times, and I would have to use my hands to pull my leg up since the suction was so strong where my feet met the bottom. I was lucky that I didn’t lose a shoe. Although this wasn’t an official obstacle, it may as well should have been. This, coupled with all the other mud that we had to trudge through made this race much more difficult than what the norm is for a Tough Mudder – where most of the mud and muck is experienced at the obstacles themselves, and not necessarily throughout the entire running course. ARCTIC ENEMA was next, and one of the two obstacles I was most concerned about. Those who know me well know that I absolutely hate to be cold (case in point, as I type this I’m sitting in my living room with the air conditioner on 73 degree with a blanket over me – you get the idea). This fun little impediment had participants take a short slide into a dumpster filled with ice water. But to make it more fun, and to ensure that you get to experience all the greatness of freezing you’re a$$ off, you are forced to lie at an angle so that your entire body goes under, head and all. Not only that, but you have to climb over a wooden wall placed in the middle of the dumpster and submerge yourself once more before finally climbing out. Probably not so bad on an 80-degree race day, but for those of us racing that day – not the greatest of feats to live through. Still, I came out the other side okay and had forgotten just how painful it was just a few yards up when my body got going again. Next up was BALLS OUT - an angled wall that had 5-6 ropes strung up and spaced out that participants had to attempt to grab onto and make their way from one end to the other without allowing their feet to hit the ground. As we stood there waiting for our turn, some pretty muscular guys couldn’t get past the second rope, and so I knew that with my puny upper-arm strength there was no way in heck I was getting past. Still, I walked over to the first rope, grabbed on, and allowed my feet to slide a time or two down the wall before giving up. Well…. at least I gave it a shot. DEVILS BEARD was up next, and was a lot like the first obstacle in that we had to crawl under a large net – this time with nothing but the ground underneath us and not so much the mud or water-filled ditches. It was actually a lot of fun and I enjoy challenges like this the most – not much of a possibility that I’m gonna break an ankle on something like this. The WARRIOR CARRY consisted of a fairly short walk where you had a carry a buddy for a certain number of feet and then switch it up. Daniel weigh’s 180lbs. though, so we asked at the half-way point if he could just carry me piggy-back style through the whole thing, and they were cool with it. Again, another obstacle where I wasn’t willing to risk hurting my back, or anything else for that matter, and screw up my training. A little less than halfway through we came upon the BIRTH CANAL. Now, looking at this obstacle I was thinking to myself “Oh great, another crawl-on-your-belly type that’s gonna be easy-peasy.” Well – not so much. It’s hard to explain it here, but if you Google it I’m sure you’ll get a better idea. Basically, they fill large plastic tarps full of water and sit them over planks of wood that you have to crawl through. This doesn’t seem so bad until you get down there to do it and realize just how difficult it is to worm your body between the ground and this heavy weight of water pushing down on your back. I’m actually getting a bit anxious just thinking about it. I got only one body length through before I freaked out and started to back out. Luckily, Daniel had chosen the same line I did and when he saw me trying to back out, grabbed my feet and pulled me back out. I never thought of myself as claustrophobic before, but it definitely reared its ugly head while I was squeezing through this obstacle. We both opted to go around and move on to the next. Apparently I wasn’t the only one whose nerves got the best of them, because as we continued forward we overheard a guy trying to calm down his girlfriend who didn’t look like she was in too good of shape, and was assuring her, “It’s over now, you got through it, there’s nothing else to be upset about.” He had good intentions I’m sure, but has obviously never had a panic attack. Our next task was something called the MUD MILE 2.0. This was by far one of my favorite obstacles. 6-7 huge mounds of sloppy mud that you had to crawl up and then slide down the other side into more muddy, sludge-filled water. There was very little chance of getting through this thing without lots of help both pushing and pulling by my fellow Mudder’s, and the mud just seemed to get thicker and thicker with each dive we took down the other side. I’m pretty certain this is the reason I am still finding caked-mud on my person after two showers and a bath over the past 24 hours. It was well worth it, though. Shortly after, we came upon BEACHED WHALE, which can only be described as a huge, capsule-shaped inflatable that you have to make your way to the top of only to slide down the other side. Only problem is, it’s huge so I had to have 2-3 people help me up the one side before grabbing the hand of another guy who was straddling the top. When I finally did make it up, I had to yell out a quick “catch me, catch me” as I slid down the other side so that I wouldn’t plummet to the ground below. There was a bit of an incline on that down-side and many people were eating it when their feet hit the ground. Another miles walk through the mud and water and we came upon SHAWSHANK. If you’ve ever seen the movie The Shawshank Redemption, and the scene where Andy Dufresne makes his way through the sewer pipes to reach his freedom, you get the idea. Although these pipes were not as long, and certainly weren’t filled with raw sewage (I hope), I didn’t want to stand in the long lines only to have a repeat of what happened at BIRTH CANAL. 3-4 people crawled through at a time only to come out the other side and plummet into a small pool of water. These two obstacles were the reason I began to understand why they call it the Tough Mudder. The physical stuff – yeah, I can handle it (as long as I’m not getting hurt), but these mental, claustrophobia-inducing hurdles…. Wow. CRY BABY was a new obstacle this year, and is supposed to simulate tear gas. Again, you crawl under tarps while a machine pumps in these vapors that, honestly, resembled something more like Halls menthol cough drops than anything tear gas-like (from what I hear). Daniel was concerned that I may have the same response I did with BIRTH CANAL due to the crawling under tarps, but since there was no pressure on my back, I did just fine. When I came out the other side I heard a couple of big guys talking to one another: “Well….. that wins the prize for the weirdest thing we’ve experienced today.” Can’t say I disagree. THE LIBERATOR was up ahead and, from a distance, I thought for sure I would do this one. Upon further inspection, however, it looked to be inclined walls that we climbed up using nothing but wooden pegs that weren’t fastened into the holes. So not only do you have slippery, muddy hands and feet climbing up this thing, you also have the same hands and feet grasping and standing on these pegs that could fall out at any minute. Case in point – the woman who went directly after Daniel (which would have been me had I opted to go), got half-way up before grasping a peg that immediately came out and she went tumbling down. No thanks. It was around this time that I told Daniel that, although I’m having fun, I’m not really sure that Tough Mudder’s are my thing. I like running consistently, not dodging mud holes and walking lightly around slick spots to ensure that I don’t bust my bum. And although I really like most of the obstacles, I feel that bypassing the ones that I’m not willing to take a chance on somehow lessens the experience. Next came WALK THE PLANK which was a jump from 20 feet high into 15 feet of water below. After ARCTIC ENEMA this was a piece of cake, as the water was comparatively warm. I channeled my childhood days of jumping off the high-dive at Paradise Pools on Terry Road, and went for it. It was only after I jumped that my stomach went up into my chest, and I felt like I was under water a little longer than I would have liked, but I did it. Mission accomplished. At this point we had 2 miles left to go. The wind had picked up, our muscles were tired and achy, and we were cold. We had estimated that we had been out on the course for over 3 ½ hours, and were both physically and mentally wiped out. SKIDMARKED was another inverted wall that came with the possibility of falling so we both opted out of that one. EVEREST 2.0 was up next and required a hard run up a curved wall with the hopes that you could make it just far enough to reach the hands meant to help you up at the top. As we stood there watching, many a folk tumbled back down that curved wall and it didn’t look much too appealing. We muddled on. FUNKY MONKEY looked good to the both of us, and we would have done it had the line not been backed up as long as it was. Standing in the cold wind with a wet bod when you could see the finish line up ahead was the last thing we wanted to do – so we didn’t. And although 6 FEET UNDER was technically the next obstacle in our path, the purpose was to jump in and then out of a small mud-hole to make sure you were drenched enough to get a good shocking during the final obstacle: ELECTROSHOCK THERAPY. Remember when I said that ARTIC ENEMA was one of two obstacles that I was concerned about? Well, this was the second. This is always the final obstacle for any Tough Mudder race, and the one that I was definitely looking forward to the least. Three mounds of mud that you have to make your way over, while multiple strands of electric wires hang down to give you a nice little jolt of electricity – sounds like fun, right? Daniel went through first and, quite quickly to be honest with you. I, however, took my sweet time standing back and trying to strategize how I was going to make this work with as little pain as possible. Do I take the “eff it,” approach and just make my way through as quickly as possible – kind of like ripping off a band aid? Or do I slowly make my way around the wires, hoping not to get zapped as another runner pushes ahead? I slowly got through the first strands and sat upon a mound looking stupefied. Some ladies next to me were taking the same approach, only they were trying to wiggle their way under the wires. At one point I said out loud, “I don’t think I can do this.” Daniel was already on the other side with a shit-eating grin on his face, knowing that I still had to conquer what he just had. Looking to the right I saw another open spot between wires that I could make my way through. I did just that and found my way onto the second mound of mud. Straight ahead another opening I wiggled right past. Then another, and another, until I came out the other side – shock-free and finally done with this race! Still muddy, wet, and cold I made my way to the area where participants collect their famous orange headbands, as well as the finisher’s shirt. With my finisher’s picture taken, I headed straight to the hosing area where tons of other runners had already abandoned clothing and shoes as they sprayed themselves down with luke-warm water to get rid of the murky muck that we would all be finding for days to come. Overall, this was a fun experience and I’m glad I did it. Later, I asked Daniel if I could really call myself a Tough Mudder considering there were many obstacles that I opted out of. He reminded me that we did, in fact, finish the complete 10.6 mile course and with the mud and water that we had to trapes through between each obstacle being a feat all on their own, I definitely deserved the title. Again, I’m not sure the Tough Mudder will be a repeat race for me. Unless/until I can get over my fear of getting hurt – then again, as a single, self-employed woman it may be stupid of me to chance my physical well-being just to “prove “ that I can scale a wall. If I ever do decide to attempt another, my hope would be that the rain holds off the days prior to the run. When you’re looking forward to an impromptu “bath” in murky, dirty water just to get the mud off, you know you’ve reached a whole new level of desperation.